Ted Kaczynski’s Journal Series IV, #1 (1979)

June 9, 1979. I arrived back at my cabin on June 5. Yesterday morning I went and set my 2 traps in the entrance of a rock-chuck den I had located maybe 1/3 mile from cabin, where they were taking all that rock out before. I went back in late afternoon to check the traps and found I had caught a good-sized chuck....

June 12. In the city I was frequently tormented by a desire for women, but now that I am back in the woods, sexual desire has nearly vanished. That is, the idea of a sexual relationship with a woman is still mildly pleasant to me, but I shrug my shoulders at it and feel that I can take it or leave it, and that it is nothing worth making any great effort or sacrifice for. Yet, only two weeks ago, I was terribly horny. This is one more confirmation of my conclusion that (for me at least) there is no intrinsic need for sex or love — the need only arises in response to certain stimuli, such as the presence of women, on the sexually oriented material in advertising in the media generally; whether one like it or not, one is unavoidably subjected to some of this while living and working in the city.

Now, some 3 months ago, in one of my moments of sexual desperation, I placed an ad in a magazine called The Mother Earth News{1}, saying “Man, 36, has cabin in Montana, seeks women to share very primitive life”. So far I’ve got about 14 replies. Some are pretty fatuous. They give me the impression that very few people are able to think connectedly. However, a couple of them sounded reasonably sensible. So by the time I left Chicago, I had arranged with one woman that she is to come visit me at an unspecified time in the latter half of June. For that reason I’ve been very busy cleaning my cabin.

But now that my sexual desires have subsided, I am having grave misgivings about this arrangement. (I had misgivings even before I left Chicago, but at that time my sexual desire overpowered the misgivings.) I mean, I would be delighted to have a nice little sexual experience, but the trouble is that when this woman comes, my sexual feelings likely will be stirred up to full strength again — and that means too much stress, which I hate. I might fall in love and get deeply entangled, and that would ruin other important plans that I have.

June 14. This morning I went and set traps. …

{1} I hate this magazine, because it constitutes a very successful, highly commercial exploitation of the beautiful, poignant, deep and strong dream that many people have of escapint from technological civilization to a self-sufficient life in a rural setting....