#title Ted Kaczynski and Sexuality
#subtitle A Reading List on Desire, Gender and Love
#author Theo Slade
#date 2026
#lang en
#pubdate 2026-10-07T12:00:00.000Z
#topics original texts, reading lists, archiving, sexuality, romance, gender,
** Introduction
According to his own autobiography, Ted Kaczynski had sexual fantasies of himself as disabled, then as a woman, and later of being a god to little children, free in the forest. That's a lot to unpack, and understanding where unusual sexual fantasies come from, and what they do to a person later in life, feels like a useful area of reading for this archive. Ted’s own [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-ted-kaczynski-s-1979-autobiography][1979 autobiography]] and [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/sally-johnson-psychiatric-competency-report-of-dr-sally-c-johnson][his psychiatric evaluation]] are good places to start.
I’ve been reading books lately that analyse people like Ted who were assigned male at birth and had really intense sexual fantasies about being female, but never transitioned.
I’ve also been digging into how sexually repressive cultures pushed people to get sneakier and more creative, because Ted grew up in exactly that kind of world: 1950s America, where there was hardly any language for what he was feeling. That same pressure gave us complicated plays and movies packed with subtext that couldn’t be made the same way today, and it helps explain why Ted’s inner life is so hard to read.
A caveat before I get into it: none of what follows is certain. We don’t have anything like an MRI of Ted’s head. We have his journals and letters, an autobiography he wrote about himself, a psychiatric evaluation and some secondhand accounts, and all of it is partial and filtered through how Ted chose to describe himself, or how other people chose to describe him. What I give below are my best guesses, and I’m open to being wrong about any of them.
*** Was Ted Kaczynski grappling solely with a sexual desire or also a gender identity issue?
It’s possible that at some point Ted wanted to live as a binary trans woman, and I can’t rule that out. But I lean towards him briefly pursuing a sex change operation as a kind of ‘suicidal depression motivated action’, rather than an ‘authentic felt emergent gender identity motivated action’.
Ted wrote about struggling with social ineptness in school, and about having sexual fantasies of being disabled at the same time. I think those fantasies helped him deal with the shame of imagining himself mentally incapable of engaging with other kids the way he wanted to.
These fantasies about being disabled shifted to fantasies of being a woman. I think that was a more complex way of dealing with the same shame, mixed with being excited by this other gendered group and with what he felt was expected of him as a boy. Either way, he wanted an ego-negation escape from all this stress.
His writing always seemed more to deal with his struggles with sexual desire than with fitting into gender roles:
“I never did get a girlfriend—or even one date,” he admitted of his years at Harvard. “Consequently, I suffered considerably from acute sexual starvation.” In Widener Library, he found himself too distracted to focus, his thoughts drifting as he watched “the sight of female behinds swaying up and down the aisle.”
Also according to his brother David, who read some parts of Ted’s journals that aren’t public:
I was able to learn that Ted began to have apparently some breaks with reality in his early 20s when he was at the University of Michigan. Interestingly enough, he stopped going to class, began to do brilliant mathematical work, but also began to have some delusions, believed people had visited him who, you know, we now know had not visited him. [He] approached the health service asking for help, but was unable to talk about his needs. And began to believe, apparently for the first time, that the problems were not inside him. That was what he had been worried about, but [he] began to project them outwards and believe that the problems were located outside him, not inside him.
So, I think his delusions, sexual desires and ego-negation desires in suicidal ideation all factored into his brief desire to get a sex change operation, more so than gender dysphoria. I can’t say how much weight each of those deserves.
With compulsive kinks and hedonistic pursuits, like porn addiction and video game collecting, there’s often a ‘binge and purge’ cycle where the person sort of wants a big climax, where the binging leads to such bad outcomes that they realize they’re permanently done with the habit. So making the counselor appointment might have been part of that too, though that is speculation.
*** The politically fraught nature of this question
It would be good to dispel some of the myths about Ted spread by people who bought into the rumor mill without bothering to investigate the evidence. For example, some on the right-wing believe Ted was almost turned trans by woke Jewish academics and the ‘first of its kind gender clinic’, and that he saw through their lies and fought back with bombs to strike back against this global conspiracy. On the left, it’s also possible to find people certain of Ted’s repressed trans identity, who believe a university counselor told Ted to repress it.
Some conservatives argue declining birth rates in the West are due to rising LGBTQ+ identification among Gen Z (citing numbers around 20%). However, many of those people will be bisexual or end up having kids with donor sperm or through surrogacy. Plus, industrialization, urbanization, and changing economic choices, not LGBT demographics, drive lower fertility rates globally.
Whatever the truth of Ted’s internal world, the false rumor that Ted went far along the process towards getting sex reassignment surgery to live as a binary trans woman is a move many conservatives have made to propagandize ‘Ted the mad serial bomber as one of them transes, that all trans people are like him and as such shouldn’t be placated with healthcare.’
There is also the explanation that some men simply experience “autogynephilia” yet feel happier living as men. That pours cold water on the conservative desire to believe Ted for sure wanted to live as a trans woman. It also isn’t true, as far as we can tell, that Ted talked to anyone about wanting sex reassignment surgery. Plus, he explicitly wrote in his journal that the idea of surgery was just for sexual enjoyment and that he planned to fool the psychiatrist, so it wasn’t because he felt like a woman or looked forward to being seen out in the world as one.
Finally, I don’t know what percentage of people assigned male at birth with “autogynephilia” would actually be happier living as men. It could be as low as 0.001%, with the other 99.999% having wholesome felt emergent gender awakenings as binary trans women, indistinguishable from those of people assigned female at birth. But even if it’s a reasonable rule of thumb that “autogynephilia” or “Female/Feminine Embodiment Fantasies” in someone assigned male at birth means they’ll likely be happier transitioning, if there was ever going to be an exception, someone dealing with everything Ted was going through is exactly where you’d expect to find one. That is: a self-radicalized fascist loner who desired to murder random people, whose self-esteem had been damaged at an early age by psychological experiments potentially tied to MK-ULTRA, who potentially experienced delusions, and so on.
*** Ted Kaczynski was likely an unreliable narrator of his own sexual development
Ted’s autobiographical writing about his own sexual development is likely highly stylized and exaggerated rather than a reliable account of an actual inner life. He described his inclinations in sustained, articulate categories that weren’t really available or in common circulation in his actual social world at the time. The autobiography was doing narrative work (constructing a coherent, dramatic self) rather than introspective work (accurately recovering what he’d actually felt).
So the question is how much of Ted’s retrospective account of his sexual fantasies and desires (the disability fantasies, the fantasies of being a woman, the journal entries about surgery) reflects a stable, legible inner experience, versus a narrative he was constructing after the fact, possibly to serve psychological needs (shame management, escape from stress) rather than descriptive accuracy. Without anything like a scan of his head, we mostly can’t check, and that applies to my reading as much as anyone else’s.
*** Sexually repressive culture and how it forced some people to be more creative
This is where the repression angle comes in. 1950s social repression around sexuality and gender forced writers, lyricists, and filmmakers into indirection, and that indirection produced real craft (Some Like It Hot’s structure, blues double entendre, Broadway wit). There was an audience that understood the subtext, and actors whose actual sexuality had to stay unspoken for reasons of professional survival, not personal confusion.
It’s also a reminder that Ted’s formative decades were a period where being gay wasn’t a commonly used or stable social category, and where there was no accessible vocabulary or framework for understanding or articulating cross-gender fantasy, disability fantasy, or shame around social ineptness in anything like clinical or identity terms. That absence of vocabulary shaped what got expressed and how, and it matters for disputing the rumors about Ted’s sexuality. There’s no evidence Ted ever attended a ‘first of its kind gender clinic’, and little in his actual environment would have given him access to a stable trans identity narrative, even if some retrospective piece of his experience gestured toward one. Ted’s inner experience, whatever it was, would have been formed and expressed largely without the interpretive categories (e.g. gender dysphoria) that people now apply to him, in either direction.
** How to Use This List
Below is a quickly sketched map of texts that matter across the many fields and communities that write about sex: sex researchers, historians, feminists, kink communities, therapists, religious writers, sex workers, cultural critics, and researchers of the far right. It is not a map of sexuality itself, which exists in people’s lives with or without any of these books.
The point of the list is to give a general reader a quick way into who is arguing about what. Some entries are friendly intros, some are dense academic work, and some are here because they are influential or widely cited, not because they are correct. If you’re new to the subject, start with Easy Entry Points.
Where a field is heavily disputed I’ve flagged it. Some of the clinical and psychological research below is contested by other researchers and by the communities it studies, and I’ve tried to put critics near the work they critique. Inclusion is not endorsement.
Plenty of what’s here is explicit, and some of it covers abuse, violence and fascist sexual imagery. Nothing here is medical or therapeutic advice.
Many topics don’t have a classic book per se, and I’m sure I’ve forgotten things. It’s a simple Wikipedia-style web page, so if you like you’re very welcome to help improve it by clicking the little writer’s pen at the top, or by adding ‘/edit’ to the end of the URL.
** Ted Kaczynski on Sex, Love and Gender
Writing by and about Ted Kaczynski’s own sexuality, romantic attachments and gender fantasies. Some of this is disturbing to read.
*** In His Own Words
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-ted-kaczynski-s-1979-autobiography][Ted Kaczynski’s 1979 Autobiography]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-ted-s-journal-on-his-plans-to-disfigure-the-face-of-a-romantic-interest][Ted Kaczynski’s journal that included his plan to disfigure the face of a romantic interest]] (1978)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-s-letters-to-ellen-tarmichael][Ted Kaczynski’s Letters to Ellen Tarmichael]] (1978)
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-s-oakland-california-journal][Ted Kaczynski’s Oakland California Journal]]
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-ted-kaczynski-s-salt-lake-city-journal-1972][Ted Kaczynski’s Salt Lake City Journal]] (1972)
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-s-1978-journal][Ted Kaczynski’s 1978–79 Journal]]
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-s-letters-to-his-heart-doctor][Ted Kaczynski’s Letter Correspondence with his Doctor’s Office]]
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-truth-versus-lies-volunteers-updated-draft][Truth versus Lies]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-dearest-debbie][Dearest Debbie]] (1975)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-an-attack-of-desire-for-women][An attack of desire for women]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-apology-to-women][Apology to Women]] (1996)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-marriage-advice-from-the-unabomber][Marriage advice from the Unabomber]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-romancing-the-unabomber][Romancing the Unabomber]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-the-unabomber-s-lady-love][The Unabomber’s “lady love”]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ted-kaczynski-his-few-hybristophiliac-fans][Ted Kaczynski & his few hybristophiliac fans]]
*** Press and Analysis
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/sally-johnson-psychiatric-competency-report-of-dr-sally-c-johnson][Psychiatric Competency Report]] by Sally Johnson (1998)
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/frequently-asked-questions-about-ted-kaczynski][Frequently Asked Questions about Ted Kaczynski]] by Theo Slade (2023)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/eileen-pollack-from-the-unabomber-to-the-incels-angry-young-men-on-campus][From the Unabomber to the Incels: Angry Young Men on Campus]] by Eileen Pollack (2019)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/james-r-fitzgerald-the-unabomber-was-an-incel-i-d-know-i-worked-on-the-fbi-investigation][‘The Unabomber Was an Incel. I’d Know—I Worked on the FBI Investigation’]] by James R. Fitzgerald
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/was-the-unabomber-the-original-incel-unpacking-ted-kaczynski-s-relationships-with-women][Was The Unabomber The Original Incel? Unpacking Ted Kaczynski’s Relationships With Women]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/serge-f-kovaleski-br-washington-post-did-failed-romance-ignite-kaczynski-s-rage-in-1978][Did Failed Romance Ignite Kaczynski’s Rage In 1978?]] by Serge F. Kovaleski (1996)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/suzanne-marmion-unabomber-s-psychiatric-profile-reveals-gender-identity-struggle][Unabomber’s Psychiatric Profile Reveals Gender-identity Struggle]] by Suzanne Marmion (1998)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/william-booth-gender-confusion-sex-change-idea-fueled-kaczynski-s-rage-report-says][Gender Confusion, Sex Change Idea Fueled Kaczynski’s Rage, Report Says]] by William Booth (1998)
** General Reading
*** Easy Entry Points
Readable overviews and popular science. Good places to start if you just want to know what researchers actually say about desire, fantasy and relationships. Sex at Dawn is a popular and controversial evolutionary argument; its critique, Sex at Dusk, is listed under Anthropology of Sexuality.
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/justin-j-lehmiller-tell-me-what-you-want][Tell Me What You Want]] by Justin J. Lehmiller (2020)
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/nancy-friday-men-in-love][Men in Love]] by Nancy Friday (1980)
- Want by Gillian Anderson (2024)
- Glitter: Real Stories From Real Women About Sexual Desire by Mona Darling (2013)
- When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match by Sandra Pertot (2007)
- The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasy by Violet Blue (2004)
- The Truth about Sex by Gloria G. Brame (2013)
- Sex, drugs and rock ’n’ roll by Zoe Cormier (2014)
- ManReaders: a woman’s guide to dysfunctional men by Bonnie Kaye (2012)
*** Textbooks
Heavier general overviews, written for university courses.
- The Psychology of Human Sexuality by Justin J. Lehmiller (2017)
- Human Sexuality: A Contemporary Introduction by Caroline F. Pukall (2020)
- Human Sexuality: Self, Society, and Culture, 2nd Edition by Gilbert H. Herdt and Nicole Polen-Petit (2021)
*** Social Skills and Relationships
Self-help and popular psychology on talking to people, dating and long-term relationships. Of very mixed quality, but a lot of people start here.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/chris-macleod-the-social-skills-guidebook][The Social Skills Guidebook]] by Chris MacLeod
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/debra-fine-the-fine-art-of-small-talk][The Fine Art of Small Talk]] by Debra Fine
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ian-tuhovsky-the-science-of-effective-communication][The Science of Effective Communication]] by Ian Tuhovsky
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/elizabeth-kuhnke-communication-skills-for-dummies][Communication Skills For Dummies]] by Elizabeth Kuhnke
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/mary-chayko-connecting][Connecting]] by Mary Chayko
** Desire, Psychology and Science
*** The Founders of Sexology
The nineteenth and twentieth century works that most later sexology is arguing with.
- Psychopathia Sexualis by Richard von Krafft-Ebing (1886)
- Studies in the Psychology of Sex by Havelock Ellis (1897–1928)
- Three Essays on the Theory of Sexuality by Sigmund Freud (1905)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/sigmund-freud-civilization-and-its-discontents][Civilization and Its Discontents (Preview)]] by Sigmund Freud (1930)
- Sexual Behavior in the Human Male by Alfred Kinsey, Wardell Pomeroy and Clyde Martin (1948) and Sexual Behavior in the Human Female (1953)
- Human Sexual Response by William H. Masters and Virginia E. Johnson (1966)
*** Sexology and Psychology
Sexology, psychiatry and psychology, from the early case studies to modern surveys. Clinical categories like “paraphilia” are themselves argued over, and the more critical and philosophical pieces are listed under Philosophy and Critique of Sexual Norms. Bader’s The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies is listed under Fantasy and Desire.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/john-money-lovemaps][Lovemaps: Clinical Concepts of Sexual/Erotic Health and Pathology, Paraphilia, and Gender Transposition in Childhood, Adolescence, and Maturity]] by John Money (1986) (hotly contested science)
- As Nature Made Him: The Boy Who Was Raised as a Girl by John Colapinto (2000) (a critical account of Money’s most famous case)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/robert-j-stoller-perversion][Perversion]] by Robert J. Stoller (1975)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/dennis-m-dailey-the-sexually-unusual][The Sexually Unusual]] by Dennis M. Dailey
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/richard-balon-practical-guide-to-paraphilia-and-paraphilic-disorders][Practical Guide to Paraphilia and Paraphilic Disorders]] by Richard Balon (2016)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/michael-j-bader-male-sexuality][Male Sexuality]] by Michael J. Bader
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/michael-j-bader-arousal][Arousal]] by Michael J. Bader
- Gender and Sexuality Development: Contemporary Theory and Research by Doug P. VanderLaan and Wang Ivy Wong (2022)
- The Palgrave Handbook of the Psychology of Sexuality and Gender by Christina Richards and Meg John Barker (2015)
- A Textbook of Psychosexual Disorders by C. Allen (1969)
- Patterns of Psychosexual Infantilism by W. Stekel (1952)
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/mary-ann-mattoon-chicago-92-the-transcendent-function-individual-and-collective-aspects][The Transcendent Function]] by Mary Ann Mattoon
- A Childish Nightmare: An Inside View of Psychosexual Infantilism by Anthony J Marciano (2013)
*** Fantasy and Desire
Books about what people fantasize about and what fantasies might mean, from survey science to psychoanalysis to Christian self-help. They disagree a lot about whether fantasies are harmless, symptoms, or something else. Lehmiller and Friday, listed under Easy Entry Points, are also relevant here.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/michael-j-bader-the-secret-logic-of-sexual-fantasies][The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies]] by Michael J. Bader
- The Electronic Confessional: A Sex Book of the 80’s by Howard R. Lewis and Jean Arbeiter (1986)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/shannon-ethridge-the-fantasy-fallacy][The Fantasy Fallacy: exposing the deeper meaning behind sexual thoughts]] by Shannon Ethridge (2012)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/herbert-marcuse-eros-and-civilization][Eros and Civilization]] by Herbert Marcuse (1955)
- Breast Envy: Why Women Love Them and The Men Who Lust Them by Peter Sacco and Debra Laino (2014)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/mario-perniola-the-sex-appeal-of-the-inorganic][The Sex Appeal of the Inorganic]] by Mario Perniola
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/hannah-proctor-desire][Desire]] by Hannah Proctor
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/carolyn-j-dean-the-frail-social-body][The Frail Social Body]] by Carolyn J. Dean
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/martha-nussbaum-the-therapy-of-desire][The Therapy of Desire]] by Martha Nussbaum (1994)
*** Female Embodiment Fantasies
Researchers who study cross-gender and other “erotic target identity inversion” fantasies (where someone is aroused by being the object of desire, for example a man aroused by the idea of being a woman, rather than by being with them), and the long fight over whether those frameworks are valid. This is hotly contested science, and many trans people and many researchers reject the typologies. Serano’s Whipping Girl is the best-known critical response.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/julia-serano-whipping-girl][Whipping Girl]] by Julia Serano (2007)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/richard-ekins-and-dave-king-blending-genders][Blending Genders]] by Richard Ekins and Dave King (1996)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/shiri-eisner-bi][Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution]] by Shiri Eisner (2013)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/the-man-who-would-be-queen][The Man Who Would Be Queen]] by J. Michael Bailey (2003) ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/anne-a-lawrence-men-trapped-in-men-s-bodies][Men Trapped in Men’s Bodies]] by Anne A. Lawrence ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/phil-illy-autoheterosexual][Autoheterosexual]] by Phil Illy ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/erotic-target-identity-inversions-among-men-and-women-in-an-internet-sample][Erotic Target Identity Inversions Among Men and Women in an Internet Sample]] ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/a-treatment-oriented-typology-of-self-identified-hypersexuality-referrals][A Treatment-Oriented Typology of Self-Identified Hypersexuality Referrals]] ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/self-reported-childhood-maltreatment-and-erotic-target-identity-inversions][Self-reported childhood maltreatment and erotic target identity inversions among men with paraphilic infantilism]] ([[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/9nfn40/resource_debunking_autogynephiliablanchardianism/][critique]])
*** Kink and Unusual Interests
Communities, researchers and therapists writing about kink and less common sexual interests, from how-to books to academic studies. Research on rarer interests, like adult baby and diaper lover communities, tends to be small online surveys, so treat the findings as exploratory.
- Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance and Submission by Gloria G. Brame, William D. Brame and Jon Jacobs (1993)
- Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex by Gloria G. Brame (2020)
- Kink: The Shocking Hidden Sex Lives of Americans by Susan Crain Bakos (1995)
- Playing Well With Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams (2012)
- Sexual outsiders: understanding BDSM sexualities and communities by David M. Ortmann and Richard A. Sprott (2013)
- Masochism and Self by Roy F. Baumeister (1989)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/kaitlyn-hawkinson-brian-d-zamboni-adult-baby-diaper-lovers-an-exploratory-study][Adult Baby/Diaper Lovers: An Exploratory Study of an Online Community Sample]] by Kaitlyn Hawkinson and Brian D. Zamboni (2014)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/lynn-s-chancer-sadomasochism-in-everyday-life][Sadomasochism in Everyday Life]] by Lynn S. Chancer
*** Philosophy and Critique of Sexual Norms
Philosophical and critical writing on what counts as “perverse”, how sexual morality gets argued, and what sex even is. These sit alongside the clinical books above and often argue against them.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/sergio-benvenuto-what-are-perversions][What Are Perversions?]] by Sergio Benvenuto
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/john-c-hall-book-review-of-two-books-on-sexual-morality][Book Review of Two Books on Sexual Morality]] by John C. Hall
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/john-boyd-wilson-logic-and-sexual-morality][Logic and Sexual Morality]] by John Boyd Wilson
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/lisa-downing-iain-morland-and-nikki-sullivan-fuckology][Fuckology]] by Lisa Downing, Iain Morland and Nikki Sullivan
- Sexual Essays: Gender, Desire, and Nakedness by James Giles (2017)
- Many Splendored Things: Thinking Sex And Play by Susanna Paasonen (2018)
*** Anthropology of Sexuality
Evolutionary and anthropological arguments about pair bonds, monogamy and the origins of human sexuality. The entries disagree sharply with each other, and Sex at Dusk is a direct critique of Sex at Dawn.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/camilla-power-pair-bonds-and-the-evolution-of-monogamy][Pair Bonds and the Evolution of Monogamy]] by Camilla Power (2018)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/chris-knight-sex-and-the-human-revolution][Sex And The Human Revolution]] by Chris Knight (2010)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/christopher-ryan-sex-at-dawn][Sex at Dawn]] by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá (2010)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/lynn-saxon-sex-at-dusk][Sex at Dusk]] by Lynn Saxon (a critique of Sex at Dawn)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/morna-finnegan-the-politics-of-eros][The Politics of Eros]] by Morna Finnegan
** Disability and Embodiment
Writing on disability, desire and bodies that don’t fit the usual categories, including the contested literature on people who want a limb removed.
- The Sexual Politics of Disability by Tom Shakespeare et al. (1996)
- Amputation on request by Alex Mensaert (2011)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/june-thunderstorm-able-bodied-until-it-kills-us][Able-Bodied Until It Kills Us]] by June Thunderstorm
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/lexi-linnell-this-machine-kills-ableism][This Machine Kills Ableism]] by Lexi Linnell
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ozy-frantz-models-of-neurodivergence][Models of Neurodivergence]] by Ozy Frantz
** Romance
Love, attachment and long-term relationships, from the psychology of falling in love to the history of the idea itself, plus some critical and anarchist takes on marriage and monogamy.
*** Love, Attachment and Limerence
Psychology and popular science on falling in love, attachment and why long-term desire is hard to sustain. Fromm is the classic starting point. Tennov’s idea of “limerence” (obsessive, involuntary infatuation) links directly to the fantasy material above.
- [[https://www.thetedkarchive.com/library/erich-fromm-the-art-of-loving][The Art of Loving]] by Erich Fromm (1956)
- Love and Limerence: The Experience of Being in Love by Dorothy Tennov (1979)
- A General Theory of Love by Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini and Richard Lannon (2000)
- Why We Love: The Nature and Chemistry of Romantic Love by Helen Fisher (2004)
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find, and Keep, Love by Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (2010)
- Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel (2006)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/alain-de-botton-the-school-of-life-why-you-will-marry-the-wrong-person][Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person]] by Alain de Botton
*** Philosophy, History and Criticism of Love
How the idea of romantic love was invented, theorised and criticised, from antiquity to modern sociology.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/karmen-mackendrick-failing-desire][Failing Desire]] by Karmen MacKendrick (2018)
- Symposium by Plato
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/joseph-bedier-the-romance-of-tristan-and-iseult][The Romance of Tristan and Iseult]] by Joseph Bédier (1900) (the medieval legend de Rougemont builds his argument on)
- On Love by Stendhal (1822)
- Love in the Western World by Denis de Rougemont (1939)
- The Four Loves by C. S. Lewis (1960)
- A Lover’s Discourse: Fragments by Roland Barthes (1977)
- Eros the Bittersweet by Anne Carson (1986)
- All About Love: New Visions by bell hooks (2000)
- Why Love Hurts: A Sociological Explanation by Eva Illouz (2012)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/agnes-callard-romance-without-love-love-without-romance][Romance Without Love, Love Without Romance]] by Agnes Callard
*** Marriage, Monogamy and Alternatives
The sociology and politics of marriage, divorce, monogamy and non-monogamy. Evolutionary arguments about pair bonds are under Anthropology of Sexuality.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/agnes-callard-the-problem-of-marital-loneliness][The Problem of Marital Loneliness]] by Agnes Callard
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/rachel-aviv-agnes-callard-s-marriage-of-the-minds][Agnes Callard’s Marriage of the Minds]] by Rachel Aviv
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ezra-klein-agnes-callard-status-games-polyamory-and-the-merits-of-meritocracy][Status Games, Polyamory and the Merits of Meritocracy]] by Ezra Klein and Agnes Callard
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/emile-armand-anarchist-individualism-and-amorous-comradeship][Anarchist Individualism and Amorous Comradeship]] by Émile Armand (1956)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/dean-spade-love-in-a-f-cked-up-world][Love in a F*cked-Up World]] by Dean Spade
** Consent and Sexual Ethics
Writing on how people negotiate, give, withhold and pressure each other over sex, from practical zines to critiques of the way consent itself gets talked about. Kink-specific writing is under Kink and Unusual Interests, and books for therapists are under For Partners and Clinicians.
*** Learning Consent
Practical and community-based starting points.
- [[https://zinelibrary.org/learning-good-consent.html][Learning Good Consent]]
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/jamie-heckert-towards-consenting-relations-anarchism-and-sexuality][Towards Consenting Relations]] by Jamie Heckert
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/lee-shevek-playing-with-power][Playing With Power]] by Lee Shevek
*** Sex-Positivity and Its Critics
First-hand and critical accounts from inside queer and sex-positive scenes about pressure, dysfunction and the expectation to enjoy sex, plus a critique of the politics around sex on the right.
- [[https://thelul.org/library/fucked-on-being-sexually-dysfunctional-in-sex-positive-queer-scenes][Fucked: on being sexually dysfunctional in sex-positive queer scenes]]
- [[https://thelul.org/library/2fucked-2furious-still-sexually-dysfunctional-in-sex-positive-queer-scenes][2Fucked 2Furious: still sexually dysfunctional in sex-positive queer scenes]]
- [[https://thelul.org/library/sex-critical-very-loose-women-podcast-155][Sex Critical — Very Loose Women Ep. #155]] (podcast)
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/c-e-undoing-sex-against-sexual-optimism][Undoing Sex]] by C. E.
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/lee-shevek-anti-sex-and-the-real-sexual-politics-of-the-right][“Anti-Sex” and the Real Sexual Politics of the Right]] by Lee Shevek
** Gender and Identity
*** Feminism and Gender
Feminist and queer writing on sex, desire and gender, from the sex wars to trans feminism. These authors argue with each other as much as with anyone else. Dworkin’s Right-Wing Women is listed under Fascism and Sexuality, and writing on where gender came from is under Origins of Gender.
- Emotional Labor: The Invisible Work Shaping Our Lives and How to Claim Our Power by Rose Hackman (2023)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/barbara-ehrenreich-elizabeth-hess-gloria-jacobs-re-making-love-the-feminization-of-sex][Re-Making Love: The Feminization of Sex]] by Barbara Ehrenreich, Elizabeth Hess and Gloria Jacobs (1986)
- “Thinking Sex: Notes for a Radical Theory of the Politics of Sexuality” by Gayle Rubin (1984)
- Pleasure and Danger: Exploring Female Sexuality edited by Carole S. Vance (1984)
- “Uses of the Erotic: The Erotic as Power” by Audre Lorde (1978)
- Epistemology of the Closet by Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick (1990)
- Gender Trouble by Judith Butler (1990)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/catharine-a-mackinnon-exploring-transgender-law-and-politics][Exploring Transgender Law and Politics]] by Catharine A. MacKinnon
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/radicalesbians-the-woman-identified-woman][The Woman-Identified-Woman]] by Radicalesbians (1970)
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/asher-not-your-mom-s-trans-101][Not Your Mom’s Trans 101]] by Asher
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/jack-halberstam-the-queer-art-of-failure][The Queer Art of Failure]] by Jack Halberstam (2011)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/laboria-cuboniks-xenofeminism][Xenofeminism]] by Laboria Cuboniks
- [[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/doris-fillion-and-linda-lanphear-women-s-liberation][Women’s Liberation]] by Doris Fillion and Linda Lanphear
*** Origins of Gender
Anthropological and anarcho-primitivist arguments about where gender and patriarchy came from, and whether early human societies were egalitarian.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/ivan-illich-gender][Gender]] by Ivan Illich (1982)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/john-zerzan-patriarchy-civilization-and-the-origins-of-gender][Patriarchy, Civilization, And The Origins Of Gender]] by John Zerzan
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/camilla-power-did-gender-egalitarianism-make-us-human][Did Gender Egalitarianism Make Us Human?]] by Camilla Power
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/camilla-power-gender-and-ritual-power][Gender and Ritual Power]] by Camilla Power
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/camilla-power-gender-egalitarianism-vs-patriarchy-theory][Gender egalitarianism vs patriarchy theory]] by Camilla Power
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/camilla-power-ian-watts-first-gender-wrong-sex][First Gender, Wrong Sex]] by Camilla Power and Ian Watts
** History, Culture and Power
*** Histories of Sexuality
How ideas about normal and deviant sex were built, and how they changed. Foucault is the usual starting point, with plenty of people arguing with him since.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/michel-foucault-the-history-of-sexuality-volume-1-an-introduction][The History of Sexuality, Volume 1: An Introduction]] by Michel Foucault (1976)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/michel-foucault-sex-power-and-the-politics-of-identity][Sex, Power, and the Politics of Identity]] by Michel Foucault
- The Pleasure’s All Mine: A History of Perverse Sex by Julie Peakman (2013)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/harriett-gilbert-christine-roche-a-women-s-history-of-sex][A Women’s History of Sex]] by Harriett Gilbert and Christine Roche (1987)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/harriett-gilbert-fetishes-florentine-girdles-and-other-explorations-into-the-sexual-imagination][The Sexual Imagination: From Acker to Zola A Feminist Companion]] by Harriett Gilbert
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/janet-r-jakobsen-the-sex-obsession][The Sex Obsession]] by Janet R. Jakobsen
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/richard-a-lee-jr-the-history-of-philosophy-as-perversion][The History of Philosophy as Perversion]] by Richard A. Lee Jr.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/bram-dijkstra-idols-of-perversity][Idols of Perversity]] by Bram Dijkstra (1986)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/bram-dijkstra-evil-sisters][Evil Sisters]] by Bram Dijkstra (1996)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/daniel-guerin-proudhon-in-the-closet][Proudhon In the Closet]] by Daniel Guérin
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/jane-kingsley-smith-cupid-in-early-modern-literature-and-culture][Cupid in Early Modern Literature and Culture]] by Jane Kingsley-Smith (2010)
- Shakespeare’s Erotic Mythology and Ovidian Renaissance Culture by Agnès Lafont (2013)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/nancy-m-arenberg-textual-transvestism][Textual Transvestism]] by Nancy M. Arenberg
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/laud-humphreys-tearoom-trade][Tearoom Trade]] by Laud Humphreys (1970)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/susie-bright-the-sexual-state-of-the-union][The Sexual State of the Union]] by Susie Bright (1997)
*** Repression, Indirection and Subtext
How sexual and gender repression, especially in mid-century America, pushed writers, lyricists, songwriters and filmmakers into indirection, and how that indirection produced real craft. Think of the structure of Some Like It Hot, the double entendre of the blues, and the wit of Broadway. These books also cover the audiences who understood the subtext, and the performers whose actual sexuality had to stay unspoken for reasons of professional survival, not personal confusion. The same silence left people like Ted with little accessible vocabulary for cross-gender fantasy, same-sex desire or shame.
**** Stage, Screen and Song
How popular entertainment (the blues, Broadway, Hollywood) carried sexual meaning under censorship, and how queer audiences and artists read and used it.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/robert-w-snyder-the-voice-of-the-city][The Voice of the City: Vaudeville and Popular Culture in New York]] by Robert W. Snyder (1989)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/kathy-peiss-cheap-amusements][Cheap Amusements: Working Women and Leisure in Turn-of-the-Century New York]] by Kathy Peiss (1986)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/paul-oliver-blues-fell-this-morning][Blues Fell This Morning: Meaning in the Blues]] by Paul Oliver (1960)
- Blues Legacies and Black Feminism by Angela Y. Davis (1998)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/lawrence-w-levine-highbrow-lowbrow][Highbrow/Lowbrow: The Emergence of Cultural Hierarchy in America]] by Lawrence W. Levine (1988)
- Staging Desire: Queer Readings of American Theater History edited by Kim Marra and Robert A. Schanke (2002)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/susan-sontag-a-susan-sontag-reader][Notes on “Camp”]] by Susan Sontag (1964)
- Pre-Code Hollywood by Thomas Doherty (1999)
- Hollywood Censored: Morality Codes, Catholics, and the Movies by Gregory D. Black (1994)
- The Celluloid Closet by Vito Russo (1981)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/janet-mccracken-ruination-and-redemption-in-billy-wilder-s-romantic-comedies][Ruination and Redemption in Billy Wilder’s Romantic Comedies]] by Janet McCracken
- Conversations with Wilder by Cameron Crowe (1999)
**** Panic, Law and the Closet
Sex panics, the policing of homosexuality and the Cold War politics of sexual deviance.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/neil-miller-sex-crime-panic][Sex-Crime Panic: A Journey to the Paranoid Heart of the 1950s]] by Neil Miller (2002)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/whitney-strub-perversion-for-profit][Perversion for Profit: The Politics of Pornography and the Rise of the New Right]] by Whitney Strub (2011)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/robert-j-corber-homosexuality-in-cold-war-america][Homosexuality in Cold War America]] by Robert J. Corber (1997)
- The Lavender Scare by David K. Johnson (2004)
- Gay New York by George Chauncey (1994)
*** Religion, Law and Morality
Religious and moral traditions that shape what counts as acceptable sex, plus writing by queer Muslims and others who push back.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/abdelwahab-bouhdiba-sexuality-in-islam][Sexuality in Islam]] by Abdelwahab Bouhdiba (1975)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/mahdi-tourage-affective-entanglements-with-the-sexual-imagery-of-paradise-in-the-qur-an][Affective entanglements with the sexual imagery of paradise in the Qur’an]] by Mahdi Tourage
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/mohja-kahf-lustrous-companions-do-we-get-dick-in-heaven][Lustrous Companions: ‘Do we get dick in heaven?’]] by Mohja Kahf
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/mohamed-abdou-mohamed-jean-veneuse-islam-and-queer-muslims][Islam and Queer Muslims]] by Mohamed Abdou and Mohamed Jean Veneuse
*** Race and Colonialism
How race and empire have shaped sexual stereotypes and sexual politics.
- Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon (1952)
- Orientalism by Edward Said (1978)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/guilaine-kinouani-theo-and-the-distinctly-sexual-flavour-of-french-racism][Theo and the distinctly sexual flavour of French racism]] by Guilaine Kinouani
*** Sex Work, Porn and Media
Sex work, pornography and how sex is sold, written first-hand and studied from outside.
- Sex For Sale: Prostitution, Pornography, And The Sex Industry 2E by Ronald Weitzer (2013)
- Man-Made Women: The Sexual Politics of Sex Dolls and Sex Robots by Kathleen Richardson and Charlotta Odlind (2023)
- Sexuality and Eroticism in a Post-pandemic World: Beyond the Biopolitics of the New Normal by Phil Shining and Jon Braddy (2023)
- DIY Porn Handbook: A How-To Guide to Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution by Madison Young (2016)
- Jim Goad’s Gigantic Book of Sex by Jim Goad (2007)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/thaddeus-blanchett-on-the-sale-of-sex-bodies][On the sale of sex & bodies]] by Thaddeus Blanchett
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/sian-docksey-sex-workers-opera][Sex Workers’ Opera]] by Sian Docksey
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/various-authors-have-we-ruined-sex][Have We Ruined Sex?]]
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/william-gillis-objectification-pornography][Objectification & Pornography]] by William Gillis
- [[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/organise-interview-with-an-anarchist-dominatrix][Interview with an anarchist dominatrix]] by Anarchist Federation
** Sex and Politics
*** Fascism and Sexuality
Historians and critics of how fascist movements, and the media made about them, handle masculinity, sex and violence. Several entries cover the sexualization of Nazism in pulp and film, and they are not endorsements of it.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/george-l-mosse-nationalism-and-sexuality][Nationalism and Sexuality]] by George L. Mosse (1985)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/geert-lovink-interview-with-klaus-theweleit-on-male-fantasies-today][Interview with Klaus Theweleit on Male Fantasies Today]] by Geert Lovink
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/murray-healy-gay-skins][Gay Skins]] by Murray Healy (1996)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/sophie-lewis-enemy-feminisms][Enemy Feminisms]] by Sophie Lewis
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/andrea-dworkin-right-wing-women][Right-Wing Women]] by Andrea Dworkin (1983)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/j-paul-fedoroff-md-sadism-sadomasochism-sex-and-violence][Sadism, Sadomasochism, Sex, and Violence]] by J. Paul Fedoroff
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/elizabeth-d-heineman-sexuality-and-nazism-the-doubly-unspeakable][Sexuality and Nazism: The Doubly Unspeakable?]] by Elizabeth D. Heineman
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/amit-pinchevski-roy-brand-holocaust-perversions-the-stalags-pulp-fiction-and-the-eichmann-trial][Holocaust Perversions: The Stalags Pulp Fiction and the Eichmann Trial]] by Amit Pinchevski and Roy Brand
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/samantha-n-wesch-resisting-ilsa-foucaultian-ethics-and-the-sexualization-of-nazism][Resisting Ilsa: Foucaultian Ethics and the Sexualization of Nazism]] by Samantha N. Wesch
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/daniel-h-magilow-elizabeth-bridges-kristin-t-vander-lugt-nazisploitation][Nazisploitation!]] by Daniel H. Magilow, Elizabeth Bridges and Kristin T. Vander Lugt
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/stuart-klawans-stalags-film-review][Stalags Film Review]] by Stuart Klawans
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/andrew-o-hehir-israel-s-nazi-porn-problem][Israel’s Nazi-porn problem]] by Andrew O’Hehir
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/jeremy-d-popkin-ka-tzetnik-135633-the-survivor-as-pseudonym][Ka-Tzetnik 135633: The Survivor as Pseudonym]] by Jeremy D. Popkin
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/mark-jones-founding-weimar][Founding Weimar]] by Mark Jones (2016)
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/kristian-mennen-milksops-and-bemedalled-old-men][‘Milksops’ and ‘Bemedalled Old Men’]] by Kristian Mennen
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/jay-sherry-book-review-pre-fascist-masculinity][Book Review: Pre-Fascist Masculinity]] by Jay Sherry
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/richard-j-evans-weimarama][Weimarama]] by Richard J. Evans
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/kevin-s-amidon-dan-krier-on-rereading-klaus-theweleit-s-male-fantasies][On rereading Klaus Theweleit’s Male Fantasies]] by Kevin S. Amidon and Dan Krier
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/james-bacigalupo-cyberhate][Cyberhate]] by James Bacigalupo
*** Sexual Frustration, Incels and Male Violence
Writing on involuntary celibacy, male supremacist online communities and the link, or lack of one, between sexual frustration and violence. Several pieces here connect to Ted Kaczynski’s own writing about sexual frustration.
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/maureen-callahan-what-do-so-many-mass-shooters-have-in-common-a-hatred-of-women][What do so many mass shooters have in common? A hatred of women]] by Maureen Callahan
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/megan-kelly-alex-dibranco-dr-julia-r-decook-misogynist-incels-and-male-supremacism][Misogynist Incels and Male Supremacism]] by Megan Kelly, Alex DiBranco and Julia R. DeCook
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/why-i-hate-incels-the-politics-of-self-pity][Why I Hate Incels: The Politics of Self-Pity]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/angela-nagle-kill-all-normies][Kill All Normies]] by Angela Nagle
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/what-does-she-see-in-him-hybristophiles-and-spree-killers][What Does She See in Him? Hybristophiles and Spree Killers]]
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/anda-iulia-solea-lisa-sugiura-mainstreaming-the-blackpill-understanding-the-incel-community-on][Mainstreaming the Blackpill: Understanding the Incel Community on TikTok]] by Anda-Iulia Solea and Lisa Sugiura
- [[https://thetedkarchive.com/library/david-futrelle-incels-force-beta-cucks-to-become-women-so-we-can-have-sex-with-them][Incels: Force “beta cucks” to become women so we can have sex with them]] by David Futrelle
** Anarchism and Sexuality
Anarchists have written about sex, marriage and love for well over a century. This is a short selection, from nineteenth-century free-love essays to queer anarchism and relationship anarchy; there is much more on the Anarchist Library. General anarchist theory with no focus on sex has been left out. Related anarchist writing is listed under Consent and Sexual Ethics, Feminism and Gender, and Sex Work, Porn and Media.
*** Overviews
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/hiram-kumper-anarchism-and-sexuality][Anarchism and Sexuality]] by Hiram Kümper
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/lucy-nicholas-gender-and-sexuality][Gender and Sexuality]] by Lucy Nicholas
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/workers-solidarity-movement-sex-gender-and-sexuality][Sex, Gender, and Sexuality]] by Workers Solidarity Movement
- [[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/patrick-dunn-to-abolish-rape-overthrow-male-desire][To Abolish Rape, Overthrow Male Desire]] by Patrick Dunn
- [[https://theanarchistlibrary.org/library/william-gillis-sexual-attraction-should-we-drag-it-out-back-shoot-it-dead-stake-it-salt-it-and][Sexual Attraction. Should We Drag It Out Back, Shoot It Dead, Stake It, Salt It, And Bury It At A Crossroads?]] by William Gillis
*** Free Love and the Sexual Revolution
Classic writing on marriage, jealousy and sexual freedom, mostly from the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, plus a history of the Reichian sexual revolution.
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/emma-goldman-anarchy-and-the-sex-question][Anarchy and the Sex Question]] by Emma Goldman
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/emma-goldman-marriage-and-love][Marriage and Love]] by Emma Goldman
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/emma-goldman-jealousy-causes-and-a-possible-cure][Jealousy: Causes and a Possible Cure]] by Emma Goldman
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/voltairine-de-cleyre-sex-slavery][Sex Slavery]] by Voltairine de Cleyre (1890)
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/voltairine-de-cleyre-they-who-marry-do-ill][They Who Marry Do Ill]] by Voltairine de Cleyre (1908)
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/emile-armand-on-sexual-liberty][On Sexual Liberty]] by Émile Armand
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/marie-louise-berneri-wilhelm-reich-and-the-sexual-revolution][Wilhelm Reich and the Sexual Revolution]] by Marie Louise Berneri
*** Queer Anarchism and Relationship Anarchy
Queer politics inside and against anarchism, and critiques of the couple form. Spade’s Love in a F*cked-Up World is under Marriage, Monogamy and Alternatives.
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/c-b-daring-j-rogue-deric-shannon-and-abbey-volcano-queering-anarchism][Queering Anarchism]] by C.B. Daring, J. Rogue, Deric Shannon and Abbey Volcano
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/sandra-jeppesen-queering-heterosexuality][queering heterosexuality]] by Sandra Jeppesen
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/lee-edelman-no-future][No Future]] by Lee Edelman (2004)
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/clemence-x-clementine-against-the-couple-form][Against the Couple Form]] by Clémence x. Clémentine
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/andie-nordgren-the-short-instructional-manifesto-for-relationship-anarchy][The short instructional manifesto for relationship anarchy]] by Andie Nordgren
- [[https://usa.anarchistlibraries.net/library/jamie-heckert-love-without-borders-intimacy-identity-and-the-state-of-compulsory-monogamy][Love without borders? Intimacy, identity and the state of compulsory monogamy]] by Jamie Heckert
** For Partners and Clinicians
Books written for therapists, counselors and partners, mostly sex-positive and kink-aware in approach.
- BDSM and Kink The Basics by Stefani Goerlich and Elyssa Helfer (2025)
- Integrative Sex & Couples Therapy: A Therapist’s Guide to New and Innovative Approaches by Tammy Nelson (2020)
- Handbook for Human Sexuality Counseling: Sex Positive Approach by Angela M. Schubert (2022)
- Kink-Affirming Practice: Culturally Competent Therapy from the Leather Chair by Stefani E. Goerlich (2022)
- Becoming a Kink Aware Therapist by Caroline Shahbaz and Peter Chirinos (2017)
** Memoirs
First-hand accounts from sex workers, dominants and submissives.
*** Domination and Submission
- Fetish girl: a memoir of sex, domination and motherhood by Bella LaVey (2018)
- Mistress Pussycat by Joyce Snyder (2015)
- Darling Discovered: A True Story of Submission by Mrs. Darling (2016)
- On My Knees by Periel Aschenbrand (2013)
*** Sex Work and Escorting
- Whore of New York: A Confession by Liara Roux (2021)
- Whore Diaries: My First Two Weeks As an Escort by Tara Burns (2015)
** Reference Works
Dictionaries and encyclopedias for looking up terms.
- Campbell’s Psychiatric Dictionary by Robert J. Campbell (2009)
- The Concise New Partridge Dictionary of Slang and Unconventional English by Tom Dalzell and Terry Victor (2008)
- Sex Slang by Tom Dalzell and Terry Victor (2007)
- Fetishes by Anil Aggrawal (2008)
- The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sex Practices by Love Brenda (1992)
- Dirty Words: A Literary Encyclopedia of Sex by Sajith Dinuka Vikasitha (2008)
- The encyclopedia of phobias, fears, and anxieties by Ronald M. Doctor, et al. (2008)